Magic Seeds

While most folks are not fans of this time of the year, with all of the snow and cold, I see it as an opportunity to enjoy my two favorite winter pastimes: getting caught up on all those books I've been wanting to read and ... going through seed catalogues! What? Seeds? Like in gardening? "But it's January," you might say. To anyone who calls themselves a gardener, gardening does not begin in the spring and end in the fall. Gardening goes on all year, in our minds and imaginations if not actually in the dirt. It's like having a catalogue filled with dreams delivered to your door!

Taking that idea just a little further, what if we could order our dreams from a catalogue? Let's pretend, just for a moment, that we opened our mailbox to find a catalogue that only sold magic seeds, and that those seeds, when planted, nurtured and watered, would grow into anything we desired or could dream of. The only catch is that you are only allowed to order one packet of seeds. Now the big question: which dream are you going to plant?

Our intentions are like those seed packets. They are where dreams begin. If we plant them in good, healthy soil, give them water and attention, and keep them in good light, they bloom into the most amazing things. 

A word of caution here: sometimes, despite all our efforts, some seeds don't take root. It happens. It may be that the soil wasn't right, or they got too much or too little water, or they needed to be planted in a better location that received more daylight. So often we have an intention to create something but for some reason it just doesn't manifest. Perhaps the time wasn't right (soil), or we expected too much too soon (water), or maybe we need to re-examine our intention to see it in a better light - like asking ourselves why we wanted to do this in the first place. Sometimes when we come at an idea from a different perspective (a better location), we start to see the fruits of our labors right away. When our intentions come from a place of love, compassion, service and integrity, we can grow miracles. 

Today is a blustery, cold day outside, but I am quite warm and cozy inside with my cup of tea, my favorite fuzzy slippers and blanket, and a nice, fat seed catalogue on my lap waiting for me to open its pages and discover the magic inside. What kinds of magic seeds can you plant today?

And so it is.  

The Other Side Of The Coin

Quality rather than appearance,

Ethics rather than rules,

Integrity rather than domination,

Knowledge rather than achievement,

Serenity rather than acquisitions.

I cannot remember where I first saw those words (please, if you know the reference, let me know so that I can give it the credit it deserves). I only know that they became very important to me over this last year as I explored a whole new life in a new home. The location of my move (out in the country) and the decision to fully retire there left me with lots of time to explore my inner life as well as my outer life. As I spent my first winter surrounded by mounds of snow, hunkered down with my books and journals around me for guidance, I came across these words and somehow knew that they would be my guide for the year that followed. Today I am in a new and wonderful place both spiritually and emotionally, the woman that downsized her old life and built a better one. What better time than the start of another new year to take a look at these statements and see how making the time and space to look at "the other side of the coin." so to speak, can make a huge difference in how we live our lives.

Quality rather than appearance - I remember that every year right before the beginning of school in the fall, my mother would take us shopping for our new winter coats. Despite all of the begging we did to try and get her to purchase the latest styles and colors, my mother would always opt for something that was a better buy and would serve us better in the long run. Even if she had to spend a little more, she always taught us that it was worth it because "quality was more important than fashion." 

I now use that yardstick in my own life, not only with clothing purchases, but with day to day decisions. I especially took that advice to heart over the subject of eating and dieting. I know countless numbers of folks have listed losing weight as one of their top New Year's Resolutions, and I also know that countless numbers of them will have that resolution fall by the wayside before the month is over. So I have decided to apply this idea to how I take care of my body. I will eat what is healthy for me, not what the latest diet fad tells me. I will participate in exercise that gives me energy, is fun, and makes me feel good about myself. I will not judge my body by what size I am (or am not), but by how I feel. 

Ethics rather than rules - One of the most important teachers in my life, if not THE most important teacher, was Dr. Wayne Dyer. Of all the things he taught me, the one I remember most is this one: "if you have a choice between being right and being kind, always pick kind".  To me, that also means that just because our culture, or our families, or our friends, tell us that we need to follow the rules if we want to get ahead, it doesn't mean that they are right. My truth may not be the same as your truth, but my truth includes behaving in a way that does no harm to anyone in thought, word or deed. How society sees me has no influence over my decisions. The only one I have to answer to is the person I see in the mirror each morning.

Integrity rather than domination - So much of what is going on in the world today is a huge mirror image of what goes on, for the most part, everywhere, every day, only on a much larger stage. When did we decide that the only way to get what we want was at the expense of someone else? When did it become okay to belittle or demean someone to make ourselves feel better? When did we determine that in order to secure our own happiness, we had to make others lose theirs? I have always been a pro-peace/non-violence person, but when I decided to become a vegan, this idea became even clearer to me. In the morning, when I say my daily affirmations, I know that when I say, "I am whole and complete as I am," I am not only certain that this is true, but that no one else has had their integrity, or their lives, for that matter, taken away from them so that I could have mine intact. 

Knowledge rather than achievement - Of all the things that I have experienced in this last year, I think the knowledge and wisdom that have come to me has been more valuable than anything I could have achieved in the material world. I have learned so much about myself, both my strengths and my weaknesses, and about the world that I am free to create, one that allows me to grow and stretch my wings if I choose, but that also welcomes me and accepts me as I am. Perhaps the greatest piece of knowledge I uncovered was that, in every moment of every day, I have a choice. I can choose how I will spend that moment, how I will react to what is going on around me, and how I can adjust my response from a grievance to a blessing all on my own. 

Serenity rather than acquisitions - When I pared down my personal belongings in order to move from my large apartment to this tiny one, I knew that I wasn't really losing anything but, rather, I was gaining something I didn't have where I was - peace. When you have spent the last 15 years of  your life surrounded by the sounds of cars, trucks, buses, and the never ending sirens of police cars and fire engines, the idea of serenity can be like a beacon on a hill. No more cars driving by with their windows open wide and their radios booming at all hours of the day and night, and no more unwanted access to the arguments and TV preferences of the neighbors. What I actually got by letting go of my stuff, was the acquisition of my true self, the witness inside who was trying so hard to speak to me of what truly mattered, but who was drowned out by the cacophony of daily life. To be honest, after over a year, the only thing I miss that I got rid of was one book, and I replaced that one with an electronic version so it wouldn't take up any space. My inner space remains wide open to explore.

I wish you all a happy healthy New Year filled with a quality of life that allows you integrity, peace and the knowledge that who you are is enough. The rest is just stuff. 

And so it is. 

The Five Gifts of Christmas - Gift Five: The Gift of Choice

Ask any kid and they'll tell you that there is nothing worse than getting a new battery operated toy or electronic device for Christmas and then finding out that there are no batteries to power it up or charger to get it started. That's why this fifth and final Gift of Christmas was saved for last because it was meant to be the power source to charge the other four. This week I give you the Gift of Choice.

In each and every moment of our lives, in every area of our lives. we are free to choose which way to go, which decision is the right one, and which action will bring us what we want. Sometimes the choice we make does not turn out the way we wanted it to, or takes us somewhere we did not want to go necessarily. Often it allows us to take that first step in the direction of our dreams. The sad truth is that so many of us believe we don't have a choice, or that someone else holds that power over our lives: our spouses, our bosses, our children, anyone but us. I'm here to tell you flat out that isn't so. You, with a Capital "Y," have the power of choice, and that power can take you anywhere.

When you use the Gift of Choice, you are free to live a more mindful life (Gift One), keeping your focus and your attention on what is in front of you, living in the present moment, and knowing that it is filled with infinite possibility.

When you use the Gift of Choice, you wake up each day in awe (Gift Two) at the magic that is life: the sun keeps coming up regardless of what is going on in our lives, giving us the promise of a new day. The seasons follow one after the other, the leaves fall, the snow sleeps, and the spring awakens to new life without any interference or assistance from we humans. How awesome is that?

When you use the Gift of Choice, you are free to hope (Gift Three) for a better world, a better life and a determination to do what you can, from where you are, with what you have, to make that happen.

Finally, when you use the Gift of Choice, you are free to choose to receive the grace of your Creator (Gift Four) in gratitude and appreciation, and pay that forward in the way you live your life and deal with others, both family and friends as well as strangers you meet on the street. When you choose to receive grace with love and gratitude, the other choices you make will all come from that same place.

So plug that Gift of Choice in and watch the magic come to life. Let it lead you on a wonderful journey to a life of love, peace and joy. Whenever you feel your battery getting low, just plug it in again and let the spark jump start your life!

And so it is.

The Five Gifts of Christmas - Gift Four: The Gift of Grace

Sometimes, during the frenzy of gift giving over the Christmas holidays, we find ourselves the recipient of an unexpected gift from an unexpected source. How many of us, instead of receiving the gift with gratitude and thanks, immediately become uncomfortable? We'll say things like: "Oh, you shouldn't have," or, "but I didn't get you anything." If the gift turns out to be something we've wanted badly, or that demonstrates the gift givers love and thoughtfulness towards us, that little voice inside will start pushing those buttons that tell us we're not worthy of it, that we don't deserve it because we didn't do anything to earn it. 

This week's gift is one that comes to you with no strings attached. You don't have to do anything to earn it, and you don't have to prove your worthiness to receive it. It is the Gift of Grace. It is the divine expression of love from The Creator to the Creation. It is the assurance that you are loved, that you matter, that you are never alone, and that there is nothing you can do to lose it. It is knowing that you are supported in both your triumphs and your tragedies, and that you don't have to be from any particular religious tradition or ethnic background to receive it. It is the gift that keeps on giving, and giving, and giving, with no end in sight. It never needs a refill, a battery or a recharge. Grace is forever. 

As we celebrate the birth of the One who demonstrated grace in all it's amazing disguises, I wish you all a holiday filled with the love, peace and joy. Pass it on. That's Grace in action!

And so it is. 

The Five Gifts of Christmas - Week Three: The Gift of Hope

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen; a feeling of trust.

Wish: to feel or express a strong desire or hope for something not easily attainable; something that may not happen. 

I posted those two definitions above because this week's gift is the Gift of Hope, but so many of us get "hope" and "wish" mixed up. There is a very big difference between the two and I wanted to make sure you all got the right present! So, of course, I have a story to illustrate my point.




Christmas in New York City is a magical time of year for sure. I lived in the borough of Queens so going into the city was our yearly holiday adventure. We would go down into China Town for lunch, take in the Christmas show at Radio City, and, of course, visit the tree at Rockefeller Center and watch the ice skaters - roasted chestnuts were optional! As beautiful as it was, I would have traded it all in a New York minute for a white Christmas. Snow always seemed to just miss the city come December 25 for most of my childhood. Watching all of those Christmas movies on TV, I yearned for a Normal Rockwell, postcard perfect Christmas. Some day, I told myself, some day it will snow for Christmas. It wasn't a wish so much as it was a knowing that sooner or later it had to happen.

Christmas Eve in my home was a double celebration because it was also my father's birthday. My father was born at 12:03 Christmas morning - a boy named Joseph, born to a woman named Mary. It doesn't get more Christmas than that. So on Christmas Eve we would have an open house for all of our family and friends. My mother made homemade pizzas, and we had all manner of finger foods, cookies, fruits of the season, and, of course, Italian pastries! At 12:03 A.M. we toasted my dad and gave him his birthday presents, saving his Christmas presents for when the rest of us opened ours later in the day.

One year in particular, I was up in my parents' bedroom looking out of the windows which faced the street where I could get a good view of all the Christmas lights. It was Christmas Eve and my dad was on his way home from work where he had a gas station and auto repair garage in Brooklyn. We were waiting for him to start the evening's festivities. It had been a cloudy and very cold day, the kind of day my mother always said went right through your bones. I knelt in front of the window and had a talk with God. "God, all my life I've wanted snow for Christmas. I know it's cold enough out tonight for it to happen this year, and I know that You can make it happen. It's not just for myself. I'd love for my dad to have a white Christmas Birthday this year. I hope you will make it happen this year. Thank you. Amen." Just then my mother called for me to come downstairs and help her get the table ready for company.

As we were carrying things back and forth from the kitchen to the dinning room, my mother kept looking at the clock and then out into the darkness. "I hope you father gets home soon," she said. "It's supposed to snow tonight and I don't want him driving in it with all those people out drinking for the holidays (my mother was always certain that the entire world was always out at night drinking and driving)." I don't even remember what she said after that. I was rooted to the spot. Snow? It was supposed to snow? How did she know? Did she have a direct line to God the way she had one to Santa? Had I been paying attention to the radio she had playing in the kitchen all day, every day. as she worked, I would have heard, between Old Blue Eyes and Perry Como singing Christmas carols,  the weather man predicting the chance of the first white Christmas for the Big Apple in years!  A few minutes later we heard my father's key in the door and he came in, stamping his feet. There were a few snow flakes sticking to his hat and coat. I ran past him out onto the porch ignoring my mother's calls to "shut the door before we all freeze to death!" The Christmas lights of the houses up and down the block were reflecting on the filmy, snow covered sidewalks. I knew it! I knew it could happen! Hope is the desire for things that are possible. It is the belief that what we want can and will happen. It is what leads us to make a difference in the world.

This week I give you this Gift of Hope, for a bright and beautiful holiday season, and a peaceful and loving world, because I believe that both are possible.

And so it is.

The Five Gifts of Christmas - Gift Two: The Gift of Awe

Last week someone sent me a video on Facebook of the Christmas train all lit up and traveling over hill and dale somewhere is beautiful, snowy Canada. I sat there like a little kid watching the lights glowing in the dark and reflecting colors off of the snow. I react the same way when I see a Christmas tree all lit up outside. I watch the lighting of the tree in New York City on TV every year - a born and bred Big Apple girl here who never gets tired of seeing that tree come to life even after all these years. I spent many a Christmas season up close and personal watching the skaters swirl around that tree. If I live to be 100, when it comes to the beauty of Christmas, I am always a 5 year old filled with awe.

As kids there are lots of things besides Christmas that fill us with awe. When we are little, we see the whole world like that. Every day there is something to see or experience that tells us the world is a magical place. Then we grow up. The awe is gone and so is the magic. If we're lucky, it comes back once in a while, especially during the holiday season, and if we let ourselves feel it, we can all be 5 years old again if only for a few weeks. Somewhere along the way we crossed an invisible line and our parents, or our culture, or our teachers started telling us to "grow up" and leave the things of childhood behind. I totally disagree with that. I think when we believed in magic and let ourselves feel the awe in a Christmas tree, or a firefly, or a flock of geese passing overhead, we were our authentic selves. We were at our best.

When I became a grandmother, I found my awe again. I started seeing the world through the eyes of my grandchildren and I realized what I had been missing all of these years. When my own children were small, I was too busy trying to make a life and keep a roof over our heads to find the time to stop and find my awe again. I cannot tell you how I regret that, not only for myself, but for experiences with my girls that I missed out on. Now I look up at a cold, clear, starry night and I see miracles. I watch a Christmas train glowing in the night and I feel joy. I watch a Christmas tree light up for the first time and I feel love for the whole world.

This season, I give you the gift of awe. Let yourself receive it as that 5 year old you used to be. Look for it everywhere and remember what a beautiful place the world can be when we come out of the darkness and turn on the lights for all to see. Let your own light be awesome!

And so it is.

The Five Gifts of Christmas: Gift One - The Gift of Mindfullness

For the next five weeks, I am going to share five gifts with you. You don't have to wait for Christmas to open them up. They are gifts that I hope will be useful to you each and every day of your life. Feel free to re-gift them to others!

The first gift is the Gift of Mindfulness. During the holiday season, mindfulness is probably the last thing on anybody's mind. We are so busy trying to get everything done, get all the presents bought and wrapped, plan, shop and cook the holiday meals, bake the cookies, go to yet another Christmas party somewhere ... STOP! There came a time not too long ago when, after surviving just such a stressful holiday season, I took a step back and really looked at what I had accomplished. Had the gifts really been picked out with love and thoughtfulness for the person receiving it, or was it just another item checked off the list? Did I enjoy making the food and baking the cookies, or were they just chores to be gotten done? Was there even one tiny piece of the holidays that I actually got to enjoy, or did I sigh with relief on December 26th, happy to know I survived yet another season?

After giving it a great deal of thought, I realized that when I was gardening, I got a lot more done when I was mindful of what I was doing, giving each thing my full attention and allowing myself to enjoy each minute. From the first moment I stepped outdoors and looked up at the sky, or took a deep breath of the spring air, or stopped to listen to the morning birdsong, each and every thing I did after that received my undivided, individual attention. Then things not only seemed to flow effortlessly, but I got as much out of it as my garden did. So I decided to bring that same kind of mindfulness to the holiday season. When I shopped for a gift, I stopped and put my full attention on that person. What were they like? What did I most appreciate about them? What could I make or purchase that would carry the message: "I love having you in my life?" It didn't have to be anything huge or expensive. One of the most loving gifts I ever gave my sister was to re-create all of the things in her very own Christmas stocking exactly as our mother had done for us years ago when we were kids, compete with a Christmas coloring book, crayons, and an orange in the toe of the stocking. The cost was minimal. The expression on her face was priceless. 

Mindfulness is the ability to be conscious or aware of something fully. What would it feel like to be fully in the moment when you're baking cookies, or wrapping gifts? What if a few beautiful, heart-felt decorations brought the beauty and love of the season more fully into your awareness than trying to out-do the neighbors light display? What if taking a few moments on a crisp winter night to go outside and look for the North Star became the focal point of even one evening instead of cruising online shopping sites? 

This season I give you the Gift of Mindfulness to help you to be fully conscious and aware of the beauty and love this time of year brings. Here's hoping you have the willingness to stop the madness and, instead, accept it all from that place of unconditional love from whence it comes. 

And so it is.