Thursday, July 11, 2013

No Pay, But Great Benefits

My daughter is about to become a first-time grandmother in a few months (yes, I know, that makes me a great-grandmother but that is a subject for a post of its very own). Since I am a five-time veteran of this noble profession, I thought I would jot down a few of the many perks that more than makes up for the fact that it is a non-paying but all-important job:

  • You have someone to see Disney and Pixar movies with. This means that you don't have to sneak out before the lights come back on so people won't realize you came on your own.
  • You can have fun drawing and painting with a preschooler without feeling badly when her stick figures look better than yours.
  • Peanut Butter becomes cuisine ... the same with animal crackers.
  • You have someone to help you build a fort in the living room with blankets and chairs.
  • Playground equipment is more fun than the equipment at the gym.
  • Watching ants at work by laying on the ground near an anthill takes the place of your meditation for a day.
  • A walk in the woods is transformed into a quest to find fairy houses (leaving presents of above mentioned animal crackers and flowers is also encouraged),
  • You regain you ability to converse with animals and teddy bears which was lost somewhere after the age of 8 or 10.
  • Your refrigerator is now an art gallery with new exhibits every week.
  • You are the recipient of the most beautiful four words ever spoken:  "I love you, Grandma."
Forget what I said about this being a non-paying job. That last one is payment in full.

And so it is.