Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Growing Myself Week Four: The Seed of Love

I continued to be amazed at how synchronicity keeps showing up in my life. When I started this series a few weeks ago, I paid no attention to the calendar. The idea of planting an inner garden just came to me while I was looking out of the window at mounds of snow and ice. So imagine my surprise when the next seed I had planned to talk about, love, just happened to fall on the week of Valentine's Day! Thank you, Universe. You always have my back.

This week we are going to add a green seed to the red seed of value and self worth, the orange seed of creativity and rebirth, and the yellow seed of transformation. This is the seed of Love. It would seem appropriate here to talk about romantic love with Valentine's Day so near, and I know that finding love in our 50's and even older is a subject for constant conversation on this site, but this time around I'd like to talk about self love and how it affects everyone and everything around us.

I don't think there is a more important idea on the face of this planet than learning about self-love. Of course, I'm not talking about vanity or selfishness, but truly accepting and loving ourselves just as we are, wherever we are on our journey through life. Often our pasts follow us day after day with reminders of not having been loved by our parents, our spouses and ex-spouses, and even our culture. We allow others to set the standard for us on how we should look, what we should eat, who we should have for friends, etc. If we don't meet those standards, we are shunned. If we are overweight; if we find ourselves divorced and suddenly become the "extra female" at parties; if we were raised by unfeeling parents we adopt the idea that we just weren't deserving of love.

Deep within your secret sanctuary, the one I spoke about a few weeks ago, your best friend is waiting for you. She loves you unconditionally. She is with you day after day,  year after year. She was there for you all through your childhood, teen years, young adulthood and onward up to this very day ... and she's still there. . She is going to remain with you day in and day out for the rest of your life. Don't you think it's about time you treated her better? Don't you think she deserves to be loved and appreciated just the way she has loved and appreciated you all of your life? Give her a hug when you wake up in the morning. Treat her to a nice hot bubble bath with candles and music, or a  really good meal, or flowers for not particular reason, or (dare I say it) a new purse or pair of shoes? A day of R&R with a fluffy robe, warm socks and a good book is one of the best ways I can think of to say 'I love you."

But wait, there's more. How about watching how you speak to yourself? How about drawing some boundaries that keep other peoples' negative actions and speech away from you? How about allowing yourself to take that trip you always wanted to take, or that class? A funny thing happens when you start treating yourself better - you start to treat the people around you better. Like ripples in a pond, the more you love yourself, the more you look for things to love in others. At that point the old Golden Rule comes into play: when you treat others the way you want to be treated, your whole life changes. It all starts with giving yourself the gift of love.

By the way, don't be surprised if after you've learned to love and appreciate yourself for who you are, that loving energy manifests a certain special someone who is gonna think you're something really special, too. It's funny how that works out, isn't it?

And so it is.