I started a new job last week. At the age of 64 it was the last thing I thought I would be doing. I had pretty much accepted that I would stay at the job I was at until I was financially able to retire full time (I only work part time), or until the funding for our program was cut and I had to make a decision. It was not the ideal set of options especially when you stop to consider that A). I really, really no longer liked my job ... I hesitate to use the world "hate" as that is such a strong vibration, but "strongly disliked" or, "no longer fulfilling" doesn't quite say it. Possibly "spiritually draining" would come closer, and B. I "hated" (sorry it's the only one that works here) getting up at 5:15 in the morning to make a 50 minute bus trip to work only to repeat the process again in the afternoon. Still, after looking around at the job situation in my neck of the woods which was discouraging, to say the least, and knowing that every day through my job I spoke with women who were over 50 and had been out of work for over a year or more, I finally decided to make peace with where I was. In essence, I changed the way I experienced the situation and then let go of the outcome.
It started with getting up in the morning and saying "thank you" for the day, the job, the opportunity to earn enough money to support my needs, and using the affirmation: "Out of this situation only good will come. All is well in my world." I started carrying my MP3 player on the bus to listen to guided meditations and inspirational music to make the trip less of a nightmare and make better use of the time. When I got to work I blessed the building, the people, even the paperclips, and asked that everyone who passed through the front doors be helped. Then I just let go and "let God."
...and the most amazing thing happened.After doing this for about 6 weeks, not only did I not "hate" anything anymore,but I received a gift I could never have imagined on my own. I received a phone call from my niece. She was working part-time and needed full-time (daughter, mortgage, car payments, etc.). The work was something I had done in the past and just needed to brush up on. The office was in a lovely old house that had once been the manse for the church next door. The people were wonderful to work with and very spiritually based ... and it was across the street from my apartment! Needless to say I dug out my resume, rounded up some referrals, and trusted that this would not be happening if it was not where I was meant to be ... and my commute is 4 minutes on foot!
As I write this I am looking out of the window at big, fluffy clouds flowing by in a pale, blue sky as the wind pushes them along. It makes me think about how the clouds do not fight the wind, do not complain about which direction they are being pushed in, or how long it takes them to get from one place to another. They just go with the flow and accept that where they are is where they are supposed to be.
Nobody really likes change, especially as we get older. It is hard to imagine starting something brand new at a time when you are ready to kick back and feel as if you are in control of your life for a change. I have found, however, that whenever I stop trying to control everything and "go with the flow," I am led to where I am supposed to be and I know it because of how I feel inside: happy, at peace, and grateful. Who wouldn't like a life like that?
And so it is.