Too Much Of A Good Thing

Let us go back for a moment to that golden day in October when the moving truck pulled away and I was left to soak up the beautiful, peaceful, nature-filled atmosphere of my new home. Even though the sun was shinning, I was aware of a faint chill in the air and remembered that cold weather came early up here. I pictured myself spending the winter curled up in the recliner with a hot cup of chai tea at my elbow, a warm blanky covering my legs, an even warmer cat on my lap, and a good book in my hands while I enjoyed the crackling sound of my virtual fireplace (God bless DVD's), and the aroma of soup bubbling on the stove. Outside, the landscape would be a picture from Currier and Ives, a snow covered beauty. Ah, hibernating at its best.

Fast forward to today. It is 7 degrees outside with a windchill of -13. This is warmer than last Monday when the windchill was -31.It has been at or below zero for the majority of February so far.  I have eye strain from all the reading I have been doing. My cats prefer to sleep on my bed instead of my lap because I have to get up every 20 minutes or so to make sure my legs are still working. I can't stand to look at that blasted virtual fireplace one more minute, and if I have to eat one more bowl of soup, I will vomit! What I need is a creative solution to having had too much of a good thing.

For those of you who know me well, you know that I have what my teachers used to refer to as an active imagination when I was a kid. At the age of 65 my children think it's more like delusions. Still, I can make myself believe almost anything if I work at it. So here is the agenda for today:

First: Put on every light in the apartment to simulate sunlight.

Second: Turn up the heat enough to grow tropical plants.

Third: Put on shorts and a tank top.

Fourth: Go shave my legs (well, they've been sleeping under sweat pants for

5 months and my cats really don't care one way or the other).

Fifth:  Pull out the fireplace DVD and replace it with the one that reads, "Relaxing Ocean Waves," complete with sea gulls.

Sixth:  Make a nice, fruity drink with rum and a little umbrella.....

Last:  Curl up with the drink, the ocean, the sea gulls, and a travel guide to Maui.

Somebody wake me when the snow melts and the ground dries up enough to garden. See you then ... now this is hibernating at its best!

And so it is.