Growing Myself Week Five: The Seed of Truth

This week in our inner garden we are planting a blue seed that represents finding our voice and speaking our truth. So. of course, Life decided it would be a fun experiment if I lost mine ... my voice, that is. As I sit here I am literally voiceless, the result of some upper respiratory bug that has been going around my family for the last few weeks. I sound like a moose, only worse. It has forced me to find other ways to communicate with the people around me to get my needs met or my message across. 

Not all of us are born writers, or singers, or actors. Not everyone can write a best seller, paint a Sistine Chapel or carve a David. But each and every one of us has a voice within us and a story to tell. We might tell it in the way we parent, or do our jobs, or help a neighbor, or volunteer our time. We might tell it in the charities we support, or the stand we take on issues, or even in the products we buy and the people in our lives that we support. All of us have a way of getting our message across, a way of letting the world hear us. And what we need to say to the world is our Truth, with a capital T. Louise Hay, in her groundbreaking book You Can Heal Your Life, defines laryngitis as "fear of speaking up." When we do not speak our truth, we live in the lies of others, or we lose our voice all together. 

Not content to just take my voice away, Life also decided to teach me a lesson about truth yesterday. I had to brave the cold and snow to venture out to the store to pick up a few items, not the least of which was to restock the medicine cabinet to continue my assault on this bug. We went to the local Wal-Mart because they were also having a sale on cat food ... an item I dare not run out of lest I become the focus of some intense howling from my two house mates. who have absolutely  not lost their voices, nor do they have a problem expressing their truths.  Now, I live in upstate New York and we have been having quite the winter this year. The snow is piled so high in spots that it takes up half of the parking lots, and the cold, grey days seem endless. As we made our way back to the car we heard people honking at each other, yelling at each other, cursing at each other. These were definitely not happy campers. I croaked out to my daughter that people were really suffering from this prolonged confinement due to the weather and needed to get over their cabin fever like I needed to get over my bug. She reminded me that back during the Christmas shopping season, I had made a similar remark about how rude and inpatient people were instead of being filled with holiday cheer. It reminded me that whatever your truth is, a change in season or weather is not going to change who you are inside. You can't get orange juice out of an apple, and you can't get kind, considerate people out of people who do not have those qualities in their repertoire. 

Speaking your truth means living your life based on what you believe to be true for you regardless of your circumstances, the weather, or the season.  It doesn't have to be true for the others in your life, but it has to be true for you. Sometimes that's a pretty tall order to fill. It takes courage to speak your truth when those around you think you're wrong, or a little strange, or into that "woo-woo stuff."

When you combine the two things together - finding your voice and speaking your truth - than all of the other seeds you have planted in your inner garden have a foundation to grow on, a path to follow as they rise up to meet the sun. Together, they become your authentic life, filled with the beauty of nature, truth and love. 

And so it is.

Growing Myself Week Four: The Seed of Love

I continued to be amazed at how synchronicity keeps showing up in my life. When I started this series a few weeks ago, I paid no attention to the calendar. The idea of planting an inner garden just came to me while I was looking out of the window at mounds of snow and ice. So imagine my surprise when the next seed I had planned to talk about, love, just happened to fall on the week of Valentine's Day! Thank you, Universe. You always have my back.

This week we are going to add a green seed to the red seed of value and self worth, the orange seed of creativity and rebirth, and the yellow seed of transformation. This is the seed of Love. It would seem appropriate here to talk about romantic love with Valentine's Day so near, and I know that finding love in our 50's and even older is a subject for constant conversation on this site, but this time around I'd like to talk about self love and how it affects everyone and everything around us.

I don't think there is a more important idea on the face of this planet than learning about self-love. Of course, I'm not talking about vanity or selfishness, but truly accepting and loving ourselves just as we are, wherever we are on our journey through life. Often our pasts follow us day after day with reminders of not having been loved by our parents, our spouses and ex-spouses, and even our culture. We allow others to set the standard for us on how we should look, what we should eat, who we should have for friends, etc. If we don't meet those standards, we are shunned. If we are overweight; if we find ourselves divorced and suddenly become the "extra female" at parties; if we were raised by unfeeling parents we adopt the idea that we just weren't deserving of love.

Deep within your secret sanctuary, the one I spoke about a few weeks ago, your best friend is waiting for you. She loves you unconditionally. She is with you day after day,  year after year. She was there for you all through your childhood, teen years, young adulthood and onward up to this very day ... and she's still there. . She is going to remain with you day in and day out for the rest of your life. Don't you think it's about time you treated her better? Don't you think she deserves to be loved and appreciated just the way she has loved and appreciated you all of your life? Give her a hug when you wake up in the morning. Treat her to a nice hot bubble bath with candles and music, or a  really good meal, or flowers for not particular reason, or (dare I say it) a new purse or pair of shoes? A day of R&R with a fluffy robe, warm socks and a good book is one of the best ways I can think of to say 'I love you."

But wait, there's more. How about watching how you speak to yourself? How about drawing some boundaries that keep other peoples' negative actions and speech away from you? How about allowing yourself to take that trip you always wanted to take, or that class? A funny thing happens when you start treating yourself better - you start to treat the people around you better. Like ripples in a pond, the more you love yourself, the more you look for things to love in others. At that point the old Golden Rule comes into play: when you treat others the way you want to be treated, your whole life changes. It all starts with giving yourself the gift of love.

By the way, don't be surprised if after you've learned to love and appreciate yourself for who you are, that loving energy manifests a certain special someone who is gonna think you're something really special, too. It's funny how that works out, isn't it?

And so it is.

Growing Myself Week Three: The Seed of Transformation

For the last two weeks we've been looking at cultivating our inner gardens by planting seeds that grow into powerful reminders of who we really are. The first week we planted the red seed of Value and Security, growing our ideas of self-worth. Last week we planted the orange seed of Creativity, birthing a new idea and a new dream.  This week we are planting the yellow seed of Transformation.

In certain areas, farmers occasionally do an agricultural burn to prepare the land for the next year's crops. An agricultural burn rids the soil of unwanted insects and parasites while adding important nutrients and eliminating residue from fertilizers. It results in healthier, hardier crops.

When we plant the seed of Transformation in our inner garden, it energizes our spirit and gives us the energy and the strength to rid ourselves of what no longer serves us - burning away the parasites and residue from our past experiences - and fires us up to create a new and happier life. Like the fires that burned in the old locomotives, it produces the energy to move us forward towards the life we want, the dreams we want to fulfill and the contribution we want to make to the world. But it is important to remember that without burning away the past hurts, the negative self-talk, and that old tape full of doubts that keeps playing like a loop in our minds, there will be no room in our garden for the new, the wonderful, the miraculous. So plant that seed, light that fire, and warm yourself in the flames of Transformation.

Our secret sanctuary is becoming more beautiful with every seed we plant: the reds, the oranges, the yellows - self-worth, creativity and lasting transformation. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see what we're planting next week!

And so it is.

Growing Myself - Week 2: The Seed of Creativity

Spiritual leader and writer T.D.Jakes once addressed one of Oprah's Life Classes by telling them that each and every one of them was pregnant ... they had something inside waiting to be born! I've always loved that analogy. Within each of us is the capacity to bring something forth into the world.

Last week we planted the red seed of  Self-Worth and Value in our inner garden. This week we are planting the orange seed of Creativity and New Birth.

Everyone, men as well as women, has something they want to "birth" into the world. It could be a profession, a trip, a home, a book, a painting, a garden. It could be finding a way to give clean, fresh drinking water to a third world village. It could be insuring that young girls have a chance at an education without fear of reprisal. It could be inventing an energy source that will save the planet from using up all of its fossil fuels. It could be as simple as learning to knit a sweater for that brand new grandchild or as huge as writing the Great American Novel. Whatever it is, we have the capacity to make it happen.

Step one is to plant the seed. Set the intention. Water and feed it regularly with positive affirmations, surround it with the warmth of friends and family that will cheer you on and support you, and be mindful of the clouds of uncertainty and doubt that will try and rob your seed of it's potential. And for heavens sake, don't ever, ever let your seed hear words like, "too old," or, "not smart enough," or, "don't know how." That's like watering a plant with oil ... it clogs up the pores so it can't breathe. Smile at your seed every day and tell it, "We Can Do This! And out of that seed will sprout the most beautiful and precious plant that has ever pushed through the soil and reached for the sun.

And so it is.

Growing Myself

The other day I was listening to a guided meditation online. The teacher invited us to create an inner sanctuary, a place within where we can go when we need to withdraw and experience peace, quiet and renewal. She suggested we think of it as a little room behind our heart, a room we can decorate any way we want and fill with all the things that add to our well-being.

During the meditation she guided us to plant seeds in our sanctuary that would nurture us and benefit our growth. I immediately related to this idea, being the frustrated former gardener that I am. These were not ordinary seeds, however. Each seed represented an essential part of our being. There are seven in all, so I decided to take one a week each and share them with you. Perhaps they will inspire you to create your own inner sanctuary and fill it with the seeds of fulfillment and growth.

The first seed is red. It represents the idea of value and security. As we get older, and particularly if we are women, we start to feel as if we no longer have any value in the world. We have retired from our jobs or have lost our jobs to downsizing; our children are grown and out on their own; our spouses or significant others may have passed on, or, long-term relationships have come to an end. Our "worth" was tied to the titles we carried such as mother, wife, employee, etc. When our titles are gone, so is our sense of security. It doesn't always have to do with money, although it can. It's as if we have nothing left to contribute that is considered "worthy."

When we plant the red seed, we are declaring that not only do we have worth, but we are a gold mine of experience, wisdom and creativity. We are the generation that stopped a war, marched for women's rights, civil rights and so much more. We are smart enough and wise enough (although I don't believe smart and wise are always the same thing) to begin a new and exciting journey, to do things we've never had time for before, to see places we've always wanted to see and to learn to value ourselves as the precious spirits we truly are. Value? We are beyond value. We are priceless.

Plant the red seed in your sanctuary. It will grow into something beautiful for you, something that emits the fragrance of just how wonderful you are.

And so it is.

The Dream Time

So here we are coming up on "the ides of January" and the question is this: how many of you are struggling to keep the New Year's Resolutions you made or have given up on them all together? Sure, the idea of a "New Year, New Me" has a nice ring to it and certainly energizes us to make some positive changes in our lives. However, I have to wonder whose bright idea it was to take a perfectly good concept and have it become just one more cross for us to bear? I'm sure that fitness centers, diet plans, and advertising agencies are seeing their resolutions being fulfilled very nicely.

Whenever I am challenged by the ideas and concepts of the man-made world, I return to nature for lessons and answers to guide me. Not only have I found them in my garden and in the cycles of nature, but also in my animal relations and the teachings of my ancestors. For hundreds of years the ancient ones, the grandmothers especially, would point to brother bear to teach us about how to use the winter months. Bear hibernates. They called this The Dream Time. Bear goes into his den and dreams of spring, of new birth and new growth, of cubs and honey combs to come. Likewise, the native people would take to their long houses and huts and use the time to repair hunting and gardening tools, and prepare for the coming of spring. But they would also use the time to teach the children. Gathered around the communal fires, children listened as grandmothers and grandfathers told the teaching stories that would guide the lives of these children when they were grown and had families of their own. They were told the creation stories, the lessons from their animal relations that taught things like honesty, kindness, community, commitment, the importance of family and respect for every living thing. They also learned about Creator, or God, or The Great Mystery, or whatever they called that which gave them life. When spring arrived, they greeted it rested, renewed and wrapped in the love of their families, their village and The One Who Created Them.

What a lovely idea! Why not take this time as our Dream Time? Why not use this time to dream of what we would like to achieve, or change, or improve, or create? Taking our time as we repair ourselves from the hustle and bustle of the holiday season just passed with gentleness, love and respect will get better results than beating ourselves up. Making a plan goes much easier with a hot cup of tea and a rested mind. Take good care of yourself by feeding yourself healthy foods after the extra holiday indulgences. Repair your body, mind and spirit. I know we can't hibernate in our caves until spring like brother bear -  we still have to go out into the world every day and face the cold, the snow and the jobs. How much easier would that be, however, if we approached it from a place of renewal?

So in my cave I have stocked up on books to read (thank you to the person who gave me a Barnes & Noble gift card), the ingredients for healthy meals, empty journals and plenty of pens and pencils. I have all that I need to repair the tears, heal the soul and challenge the mind. I am joining my brother bear in The Dream Time, dreaming of the new me who will greet the spring. Won't you join me? There's plenty of room around the fire.

And so it is.

The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

Recently I was working on a yarn project and was having a problem getting it to be the size that I wanted. Then I remembered YouTube. I got on and typed in the project I was working on and, voila! There were instructions and examples of exactly what I needed. I said out loud, "wow, YouTube is the best thing since sliced bread!"

Now, do you ever have a moment like that where you blurt out a phrase or saying and then wonder to yourself, "where did that come from?" So often we use these catch phrases that we picked up from someone at sometime and don't even realize we have adopted them for our own. In this case I had to stop and think about who I knew that used to say that. Then it dawned on me that it was a friend I had years ago who used it whenever she discovered some new product or device that made her life easier.

So I sat with the image of "sliced bread" for a while (bear with me, folks, this will all make sense soon). Our grandmothers, if not our mothers, used to make their own bread. They would pull that warm, wonderful bead from the oven and there was nothing better than to slice off a slab and smother it in butter or jam. There was something about a loaf of home made bread that said  things like ":home, family, Mom, Grandma, childhood, etc". If you think about it, that bread was probably made from locally, organically  grown grains, with no preservatives. Then along came the idea of mass production and sliced bread. As more and more women entered the workforce, especially during the war when women took over the men's jobs while they were at the front, new devices and time saving ideas made sense.

I recently purchased a loaf of bread from a farmers' market. It was still warm in the wrapper. It smelled heavenly. I frequent this lady's stand whenever I go because I know that she uses all home grown ingredients. When I warm it up in the oven and slice off a piece ... it's like Sunday at my house when I was little and my Mom would heat up the fresh loaf of Italian bread to go with the Sunday  pasta. It makes me remember all those good things like home, family, good, safe, etc.

Sometimes, like with that YouTube video, I am amazed and thankful for the help. Other times I feel as if technology is pulling me away from things that play an important part in my life. The more time I spend on Facebook, the less time I spend taking a walk, playing with my cats, watching the birds do their daily aerial ballet. The more I use convenience foods, the less healthy food I am putting in my body. So these days I am being a little more aware of the next new thing coming down the pike. If it makes my life easier or is helpful without my having to sacrifice health or happiness, so be it. If not, I'll let it pass to the next person. Some things never go out of style. Those are the things I cherish.

And so it is.